UFF DA

Yesterday morning’s prayer in Prayers for a Planetary Pilgrim by Edward Hays included these lines:

Grant me the grace to look with respect
upon all I will meet this day
and upon every event I encounter.
Mindful that I am a pilgrim,
may I treat each and every one with reverence and love,
as a manifestation of you to whom I journey.

Uff daAs I read those words, the word that came to my mind was UFF DA. (For those of you who don’t know the expression, UFF DA is a Norwegian expression that is comparable to “good grief,” or “oy vey,” or “Oh no!” It’s a phrase that can stand in for any mild expletive, especially for people who like to avoid swear words.)

UFF DA came to mind because of my plans for the morning. I was going to take “Mary,” one of the three 92-year-olds we care for, to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Madison to get an official state photo ID. She has never had a driver’s license, although she did have an official Illinois photo ID from several years ago when she lived in Illinois. She may need a Wisconsin ID to vote, but more urgently, she recently discovered that she needs a Wisconsin ID to cash in her Savings Bonds. I spent about an hour online Sunday trying to figure out the requirements to get a Wisconsin ID. They’re not easy. I was anticipating a challenging time at the DMV. I wasn’t disappointed.

Mary and I walked up to the DMV clerk with all the documentation we could assemble to prove she was who she said she was – her old Illinois photo ID, her social security card, her Medicare card, and a bank statement with her current Wisconsin address on it.

Waiting in Line 4The clerk said, “Do you have a birth certificate?”

I said, “No, but her Illinois photo ID card shows her date of birth.”

“But Illinois doesn’t have the same standards for guaranteeing authenticity that Wisconsin has,” she replied.

I put my arm around Mary and said with a smile, “I can vouch for the fact that she was born – she’s here.”

The clerk responded, also with a smile, “For any first-time Wisconsin ID to be issued, a certified birth certificate is required.”

I said, “It sounds like elder discrimination to me. What do you think, Mary?” We were all still smiling.

Mary replied, “I’ve never had to show a birth certificate before.”

“Could we talk with a supervisor who might be able to waive this requirement since we have proof of her age on an official government ID from Illinois?” I asked.

“We never make exceptions on the birth certificate requirement. I can give you information about how to get a birth certificate. What state were you born in?”

“Illinois,” was Mary’s response.

I asked Mary, “Do you want to make a scene?” She had a concerned look on her face. “We can do that,” I said to her, grinning.

Before Mary could respond, the clerk said, “I don’t think you look like people who will make a scene.”

So then I said to Mary, “Well, I guess we won’t get your ID today. You must not have prayed hard enough.” Mary prays a lot. I was sure she had prayed about getting her ID card.

“I didn’t pray at all for this. I thought we’d just walk up, show the paperwork, and get the ID. I don’t understand why there’s a problem.”

Unfortunately, being as prepared as we could be and being as pleasant to the clerk as we could be were not enough. I’ll continue to help Mary jump through all the hoops to get her ID so she can cash in her Savings Bonds, and maybe even vote. Uff da. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us. As soon as we got home, I went online to read the requirements for getting a birth certificate from Illinois. That won’t be easy either. Uff da again.

A few years ago, Mim created a life mission statement – To nurture and respect, advocate for, and provide hospitality for those who are vulnerable. Today I took on the role of advocate for Mary.

Uff da. I think I’m going to have to keep praying the Planetary Pilgrim’s prayer before and after every interaction I have with Wisconsin and Illinois employees as I try to help Mary jump through all the hoops.

Grant me the grace to look with respect
upon all I will meet this day
and upon every event I encounter.

Uff da mug

2 thoughts on “UFF DA

  1. WOW! What a story. So timely with voter ID requirement in the news here in
    Wisconsin. “Mary” has an advocate, many would give up and not get an ID with
    those requirements, exactly as the judge stated. Thanks for sharing this, Marian.
    Brenda Stolzenburg

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