Tag Archive | endless supply of grandmas

A Pat on the Back

Abbey Profile 2This morning I looked at my beautiful old dog Abbey and said, “Hey, Abbey. Come over here a minute. I want to give you a pat on the back – not just a few pats on the head, a real pat on the back.”

“Okay, Mom. Just a minute while I coax my legs to stand up. They’re not moving very fast any more,” she replied. She slowly stood up and hobbled over to me. Then she eased herself down to a laying position again.

“Abbey, I’ve been thinking about how much you have befriended all of our 93-year-olds. You have become one of their best friends, for each one of them, just as you have for almost everyone who has lived with us. I’m particularly surprised at how much our latest resident has come to love you. I didn’t think she could love again. But you won her over. How did you do it?”

“Oh, Mom.  That wasn’t so hard. She was just hurting a lot, and she took her frustration out on all of us.”

“Yes, but at first I thought she was a little mean to you. I was afraid she might try to push you with her walker to get you to move when she wanted to walk where you happened to be lying on the floor.”

“Oh, she never hit me, Mom. And she was in so much pain. I got out of her way whenever I saw her coming, but when she sat down, I went to sit beside her. She needed to feel that someone loved her. I could do that. Eventually, she even started to pet me. Now sometimes she leaves me some crusts of bread on her plate, and tells you to be sure to give it to me, right?”

Abbey looking up colorized 2“That’s right, Abbey. You have definitely won her over. You know what she told me the other day? She said that you really like her, that you even lay down outside her door sometimes when we’re out. She is so happy that you have become her friend.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Mom. And, you know what? I’m glad that she’s become one of my friends, too. Just like it said in the book you’re reading. You may not know it, but sometimes I look over your shoulder in the morning while you’re reading. On Sunday morning you were reading from that Edward Hays book again, A Book of Wonders. He’s a smart writer. He said,

The best way to remain fully and vitally alive all the way up to the moment of your last and final breath is to constantly strive to be sensitive to other’s needs and suffering, responding to their unspoken cries for help.

“That’s all I’m trying to do, Mom. And in the process, I’m gaining more and more friends. I’m the luckiest dog in the world. I may not be able to get out as much as I used to, but I really appreciate all the new friends you bring in to live with us. Like I said before, it’s great having an endless supply of grandmas.”

“And it’s great having such a loving dog as you, Abbey.”

Thanks, Mom!

Thanks, Mom!

An Endless Supply of Grandmas

Abbey welcoming Edith when she first came to live with us.

Abbey welcoming Edith when she first came to live with us.

Doris and Abbey comforting each other.

Doris and Abbey reminding each other how much love there is in the world

Seven years ago, Mim and I were interviewed by a 12-year-old boy. We wanted to adopt his 3-year-old dog Abbey. He wasn’t able to keep her any more, and he put her up for adoption through the Humane Society.  We saw Abbey’s picture on the Internet, and called the number listed to schedule a time to meet Abbey and be interviewed by the 12-year-old. During the interview, we told him that Abbey would have an endless supply of grandmas to pet her if she would live with us. That clinched it. We were chosen to be the lucky ones among all the people who wanted to adopt Abbey.

Over the last couple weeks I’ve been developing new marketing materials for Country Comforts Assisted Living. That got me thinking about all the grandmas and grandpas that have lived with us for assisted living over the years. I remembered that promise to Abbey’s previous owner. Yes, Abbey has been fortunate to have all those grandmas and grandpas to pet her.

Abbey comforting Patti during her last days

Abbey comforting Patti during her last days

But Abbey isn’t the only one who’s been fortunate. Mim and I are the “middle generation” between Abbey and these grandmas and grandpas. We’ve been blessed with all these “moms” and “dads.” Most people get only one mom and one dad. Over the past ten years we’ve had almost twenty“moms” and three “dads.” How fortunate is that – to get all these bonus moms and dads after our own were no longer with us!

What prompted me to develop new marketing materials for Country Comforts is the fact that this year we changed our focus from general assisted living care to end-of-life care. When people draw near to the end of their life, often they choose to receive hospice care at home with their loved ones taking care of them. A hospice organization can provide help, but the majority of caregiving is done by family members. Sometimes, family members are not able to give the end-of-life care at home that their loved one needs. That’s where Country Comforts can help. Rather than going to a nursing home, their loved one can move into our home where we will provide the skilled and attentive care they need. We will work together with the hospice organization of the family’s choice to care for the loved one and help coordinate a wide range of end-of-life issues – physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and legal. Our role is to support the resident and their family in any way we can.

Abbey helping Anna celebrate her birthday

Abbey helping Anna celebrate her birthday

While putting together brochures to explain the end-of-life care we want to provide, I went through pictures of many of these special people who have entered our lives over the past ten years. Our lives really have been enriched by each person who has lived with us. One whole section of the book I wrote about hospitality (Come, Lord Jesus, Be Our Guest) is about the people who have lived with us for assisted living. In the book, I tell a one- or two-page story about each person. I’ve re-read that section of the book many times to let my mind spend more time remembering each one. (You can find more information about the book at http://mariankorth.com/come-lord-jesus.html.)

Some of these bonus grandmas (or moms, depending on your perspective) are pictured here. More of them are included on our Country Comforts website (www.CountryComfortsAssistedLiving.com). I redesigned the website last weekend to reflect our new focus. If you take a peek at the website and are confused by any explanations that are unclear or find any bad links, please let me know. I’ll appreciate any suggestions you may have to make our website better. We want to be sure Abbey never runs out of the endless supply of grandmas we promised her.