My mind is incapable of tolerating a vacuum. It always finds something to be anxious about, or some problem to be solving, or at least some imminent decisions to be mulling over. Often there are multiple urgent thoughts competing for my attention. Then my mind might start thrashing – a technical computer term that kind of means jumping from one thing to another so fast that nothing constructive gets accomplished.
I’ve had some major ponderings in my head this year. One of the biggest topics on my mind throughout the first few months of the year was getting a new car. My 2003 Camry and Mim’s 2003 Matrix were both running pretty well, but my mind decided it was time to start thinking about a replacement for at least one of them. Online, I narrowed my information gathering to 12 models. Then Mim and I started actually looking at cars in dealerships. On April 13, we made a decision on the spot to get a car that wasn’t even on our list – a Prius V. Fortunately, we love the car – especially how spacious it is and the great mileage we get. But most important, since April 13, there’s been one less thing in my mind to be mulling over.
But never fear, another major topic took center stage in my mind. For the next several months, my mind worked overtime thinking up all the details I needed to consider for selling our farmhouse. On August 20 we closed on the house, and I could check that topic off my mind’s active list.
Jumping into its place was refinancing our condo and changing banks. We’ve been unhappy with the new management of our long-term bank in Cambridge for a few years, but we knew that changing banks is complicated these days. As of October 12, we are happy customers of Johnson Bank – mortgage, personal, and business accounts. One more thing checked off my mind’s list.
Those are just the big things my mind has been dealing with this year. There are always plenty of little things competing for attention in my mind. This morning my mind is “paging” (another old mainframe computer term) among selecting a new transport chair for one of our residents (the hard rubber wheels are starting to break down on hers after four years of hard use); finding a new wallet for myself (the leather is starting to come apart); selecting a new computer (probably a MacBook, to replace my Windows laptop that seems to be sputtering again); and choosing a new word for 2016 (I really like choosing a special word instead of having new year’s resolutions. My word for 2014 was JOY. 2015 is GRATITUDE. I’m thinking of KINDNESS for next year but I haven’t decided yet – there’s still more mulling to do in my mind.)
I don’t know why those four items came to the forefront of my mind this morning, but that’s what’s in there.
The quote to ponder in last month’s The Monastic Way pamphlet was, “The things we love tell us who we are,” by Thomas Aquinas. Joan Chittister’s pamphlet of daily musings about this quote focused on the choices we make and what those choices say about us and what we love.
On October 17 she wrote, “No one is born whole. We all get to be wholly mature, developed persons as a result of the choices we make every day of every life. ‘The self,’ the great educator John Dewey said, ‘is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.’”
Well, my mind is certainly busy working on all those choices I think I need to make. As I’ve been writing, a few more things popped into my mind to think about – like what books should I take along with me to read next week for another short Christmas Mountain getaway…
Obviously, my mind is going to keep busy making decisions, big and small. That’s okay with me.
Joan Chittister ended her October pamphlet by saying, “Choice is the holiest of the virtues. It preserves the best of the past and creates the best of the future. Victor Frankl writes, ‘Everything can be taken away from a person but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.’”